In times past, when I've 'hit the wall' so to speak, I would do mean, stupid, hurtful things. Thankfully, I've grown. I've learned to temper my knee-jerk idiocy. I've learned to stop and become - introspective. Moments of clarity happen - and I eventually just can't ignore them anymore. Ironically - and sadly - this introspection and clarity sometimes means that people still get hurt - just not in mean, stupid ways.

It's hard and often painful when you finally figure something out. You often just don't want to see it, to acknowledge or to accept it. It's hard because we all want to deny 'bad' conclusions. Let's say you somehow come to the conclusion that you're unnecessary; expendable; redundant. Even if you accept that the conclusions you reach just might be true for very good reasons - they're still painful to process. They force you to either accept a new reality - or continue living in denial.

So on what have I been ruminating? Life and relationships of course. (See title. LOL.)

Life is about relationships. All relationships take degrees of effort to maintain. Depending on how important a relationship is will determine the amount of effort anyone is willing to put into maintaining - and possibly growing - each relationship that is part of their life.

How important you are to someone directly correlates to how much effort they are willing to expend to keep a relationship with you. Inversely, the importance you place on someone else will determine how much effort you want to expend to keep them as part of your life. Sometimes you're both on the same page. Sometimes, not. It's when there's a "not" that this whole relationship business can get painful.

So - does effort equal time? At it's base, yes. All effort requires some amount of time. The trick is to recognize the importance of the effort, the time that was taken to say, "you're important to me". It may not be a large investment in time, but the effort counts. And the fact is, we find or make time for what's important.

So - relationships require effort. Effort equals time. Time is relative. Learning to shift your thoughts, to acknowledge and accept what has come to pass in each relationship you're engaged in - that is the key. To maintain your sanity in the midst of all this hectic life/relationship crap? Well, here's to knowing when to keep making the effort - and when to stop making the time!